the blur

Sometimes the worst in life comes at one long stretch. And I think it has been the case of millions of life around the world. But the same couldn’t stand more corrected for the people of India, beginning with the 26 of November, there has been utter turmoil wherever you turn your head to. The ending November just brought about a saddening December.

Same’s been the case with me. I’ve lost hope and faith in almost anything and everything. Be it life, be it normalcy, be it even your friends – there is always the utter nonsense of it all. It’s like what you wanted to live is right in front of you and not happening to you. And the worst of which would usually take over a life is happening to you. Why does it always happen that you feel like you are always squished under a large thumb?

But people always tell that there is a comeback? When is this comeback? Considering the fact that when you want something you don’t get it at all. Take my case for instance, I’ve had so many dreams and aspirations, but it’s always been “what’s-best-for-you-beta-you-take-it-but-also-listen-to-us”. Everytime you do something there are like a thousand people around you to question it’s relevancy, it’s future, it’s outcome and God knows what else? When will they understand that it’s our life rather than theirs that they are playing with? I’d saved up my last salary and have been waiting to get back with my friends from Muscat for the past 7 months. I did not even spend a single buck from the money that I saved up. And see now what happens? I am under house arrest.

Let me ask you, where do you get all this world knowledge from? Will you being holed up in a house take you around the world? Some people might say – there is the whole world in front of you in the form of the internet. But I say – screw you! If you haven’t traveled, you haven’t seen nothing. I wanted to know, I wanted to see, I wanted to understand, but there is always someone or something to stop you. I cannot blame my people for not allowing me or anything, but also at the same time I loathe them so much. Just imagine – you look forward to something so much. And what do you get?

I hate to be me at the moment…