the jellybum's jingle!

i know im not supposed to be here but i couldnt resist the thought of entering this world( the inner sanctum as he calls it)!!! it feels AAWWEESOMEEEE to be in someone else's head!


and if its his......what more could you ask for!



ha! ha! ha! nishath!

the blur

Sometimes the worst in life comes at one long stretch. And I think it has been the case of millions of life around the world. But the same couldn’t stand more corrected for the people of India, beginning with the 26 of November, there has been utter turmoil wherever you turn your head to. The ending November just brought about a saddening December.

Same’s been the case with me. I’ve lost hope and faith in almost anything and everything. Be it life, be it normalcy, be it even your friends – there is always the utter nonsense of it all. It’s like what you wanted to live is right in front of you and not happening to you. And the worst of which would usually take over a life is happening to you. Why does it always happen that you feel like you are always squished under a large thumb?

But people always tell that there is a comeback? When is this comeback? Considering the fact that when you want something you don’t get it at all. Take my case for instance, I’ve had so many dreams and aspirations, but it’s always been “what’s-best-for-you-beta-you-take-it-but-also-listen-to-us”. Everytime you do something there are like a thousand people around you to question it’s relevancy, it’s future, it’s outcome and God knows what else? When will they understand that it’s our life rather than theirs that they are playing with? I’d saved up my last salary and have been waiting to get back with my friends from Muscat for the past 7 months. I did not even spend a single buck from the money that I saved up. And see now what happens? I am under house arrest.

Let me ask you, where do you get all this world knowledge from? Will you being holed up in a house take you around the world? Some people might say – there is the whole world in front of you in the form of the internet. But I say – screw you! If you haven’t traveled, you haven’t seen nothing. I wanted to know, I wanted to see, I wanted to understand, but there is always someone or something to stop you. I cannot blame my people for not allowing me or anything, but also at the same time I loathe them so much. Just imagine – you look forward to something so much. And what do you get?

I hate to be me at the moment…

mirza ghalib - lajawab or kya nahin

"Mat pooch ke kya haal hai mera tere peeche?
Tu dekh ke kya rang tera mere aage..."

Ask not what separation has done to me
You see your poise (composure) when I come before you...



"Dil hee to hai na sang-o-khisht, dard se bhar na aaye kyon?
royenge hum hazaar baar, koee hamein sataaye kyon?"

Heart it is, not a stone or brick
Why shouldn't it feel the pain?
Let none tyrannize/torment this heart
Or I shall cry and cry again....

the soul of our heart

Today I am sad. My sadness knows no bounds for the fact that my favorite Grandma left for heaven’s abode. I know she looks over us, and even now I am haunted by the knowingness I shall hold her hand no more.

The last time I held her hand, I whispered into her ears that I shall not allow her to go so easily. She’d smiled even then. She’d smiled to let us know. She’s smiled to give us warmth.

My mind wandered. Here and there. I left practice and then discovered – I was lost in thoughts. I’d lost my helmet. Who would now ask me to check if her clock was still working? I’d lost time’s count and I am still sad.

She’d asked for me, a moment and more. But I am sad I wasn’t there. Could there be more love than what she’s given? I am still sad. I wasn’t there.

And then when I wished to see her, I cried. And for one last time I saw her fragile face. And smile at me she did so too. I am sad but I am there.

Chandra, my favorite grandma, forever you shall remain…

ma angels

Months and more
When a baby and less was I
She carried me around
Smiled at me
Took me in her arms
Woke up in the middle of the nights
Fed me
Made sure I burped
The songs she sang
The warmth of her touch
Mom I love you
Have
Am
Will
Always.

Days and nights,
Memories,
Laughs,
Frustrations,
Fights,
Secrets,
Hopes,
Wishes,
Anything & everything
The narrowness,
The thinness,
The path of what might be,
Wherever,
Whenever,
Anu – Mukz
I love u
Have
Am
Will
Always.

You all inspire me.
You move me.
You make me cry.
You make me laugh so hard it hurts.
You make me smile.
You make me know that you care.
You make me.

a 1000 dreams to just wish

hazaron khwahishein aise bhi hote hain,
anjaane kahi gum ho jaate hai,
yadon ki woh haseen pal,
milte bhi tab pigal jaate hain,
sunsan dil rehna padega.
lekin haste huey hum yeh kah jaate hain -
hazaron khawishein asie hi rah jaate hain...

The Shower Cubicle Incident

This happened during our 10th grade, during a tour from the school to the Hill Stations in Kerala, South India. This particular incident happened when we stayed over at Idukki at a place called Greenland lodge. We had to stay over for the night because we had seen enough sites for the day, and were to head for our next destination the coming morning. 

 It was a fun night, I tell you. We had a huge dormitory. Some guys were lucky enough to get rooms (which was shared among four of them). But it was more fun in the dorms. There was the occasional trying out new stuff (like – “hey who’s smoking in here?”). 

We never knew when the sun shone on our faces. It was freezing cold out there, being a hill-station and all. We were asked to get ready by the two teachers who accompanied us. The teacher accompanying the boys was our moral studies’ teacher. Now, the girls were provided with well to do wash facilities, and most importantly, bathrooms with doors and latches on them. While the boys were shown the imperial bath suites – a gym washroom setup, but instead of doors, just curtains in its place.

There were 5 shower outlets, and so five of us took our baths at the same time. There was this one friend of ours, who was a complete laugh riot. You wouldn’t even know when time passes by when he is around. This friend of ours went into the shower cubicle. He turned on the shower, that is when it hit him – he’d forgotten to take the soap. He ran (obviously with a towel around his waist) and made it to the dorm, rummaged through his luggage, got the thing that he was looking for, and made it back to the shower cubicle. 

But alas, the cubicle was occupied. The curtains were closed. And somebody was taking a shower. Now Shinaan had been waiting in queue for long to take a bath. And when by chance he got it to himself, somebody took it over. This couldn’t happen. Our friend went ballistic. He shouted to the person inside the shower cubicle – “Hey asshole! Get the <beep> out of the <beep> shower. I’ve been waiting in here for <beep> time, and you <beep> take it all away. <beep> you!!! <beeper beep beeping beeper>!!!”

The person inside turns the shower off. And then a familiar voice came from inside – “If you have finished, you can please move aside. You might not want to face me when I come out.” 

It was our moral studies teacher. 

The Zahoor Effect

Well as you know it’s the time of Ramadan. It brings with itself a self revelation among the people to be good, do good and be cheerful. I think I have always believed it that if there is a change for the good and it should always be for the best (which means it should stay on forever and not for just one month. *tsk* *tsk* like for example now - where they are all goody goody, just to get back into the same old shoe after a month)

Well it was just another day in the month of Ramadan for me today. At around 9 at night, I called up ma friend Nawab and asked him as to where he was. He asked me to join him at the beach. Now Calicut beach is quite picturesque (I mean ‘chick’wise as well as the surrounding wise). So I did not think twice before finding myself at the ‘walk’ in the beach.

There were three of us sitting there – Nawab, Zahoor (his friend) and myself. Both are Afghani’s. So there we were on the beach ‘walk’ sitting on the side wall between a calm beach and some lazy cows on the interlocks (it’s India after all, who did u expect to be on the interlocks?) Well there were quite a lot of cattle on the beach for today. But there were more people than the cattle (thank God).

Zahoor decides to call his girlfriend (an Afghani – been just here for a few years – even he’s gotten lucky, damn… mera number kab ayega?) But she doesn’t pick it up. And he asks me –

“You tell me one thing. I find this really strange. I mean I call girls at 9 or 10. They don’t pick up. But they have no problem talking after 11 or midnight. I sometimes get miss calls at 2 past midnight”

What could I answer?

I laughed. Told him – it might be strange to you. But that’s how it rolls here in Calicut. (Maybe you girls out there can help answer that better)

And then he had quite a few other doubts. He was like a refreshing breeze to the stagnant life that we lived off here. There was laughter. He spoke of the time when he got slapped by a girl. The times he had out here in Kerala. The differences in the colleges in and around Calicut. I can tell you this – he has a better understanding of the people of Calicut than even me. He has a solution for everything. You know why? Coz he receives anything with an open smile. No stress, nothing at all. Come what may, go what may, he lives each moment to the max. I wished to be him for a moment there.

No moment was dull. The Zahoor effect changed my perspective on life a bit – live life, love life.

Love Actually?

This thing called love is really kinda very strange. You don’t know when and to whom you are falling in love. And when you do fall in love it’s so not right. You try to calculate the relation you’ve been having with them, and then you end up thinking as to whether you need to tell them or not. And some times you end up doing the foolish thing – by going along and telling them out. I don’t know why I say this, maybe because every time I’ve tried to open out my heart, I believe that I do one of the most foolish things possible. But then there will be people who will disagree with me. They’ll say that is better out than in. There’s no question of buts or what ifs. It’s all straight into the face. I am sad and at the same time that I have never been such a kind of person. But let me tell you one thing – when you love somebody, mean it with your heart. There’s no use trying to get the other person love you back or show your love in much more than just affection. When you give, give as if you’ve known no boundaries. These words are all rather the normal clichés I guess. But then again I have not got anything else to say to you. Maybe people take me too much for granted. But I succumb to whatever they make of me. I think this has got to change. Now you people must be thinking as to whether I’ve fallen in love again. But it’s not that I’ve fallen in love again. It’s just that I don’t when I fall in love no more. It’s quite the mystery. Maybe that’s why I am so hard to crack.

Motorcycle Diaries – City of Contrasts!!!

The first thing that comes to your mind when u visit the city of Bangalore is the stark similarity it has with cities like Dubai and others around the world. We had an eventful bike travel from the city of Calicut to Bengalooru (that’s what it's called nowadays). Anywho we started at around 6.30 in the morning. We traveled around 40 kms without much trouble. But then at around the twisting roads of Wayanad district we came face to face with what is known as nature's fury. It was raining like mad and we had nothing to protect us from the arrows from heaven, save the windstopper jacket and helmet. The conditions got so worse that we could not even flex our fingers to hold the clutch or anything. So we had to take a well deserved break at Kalpetta, from where we had tea and peed like hell. When the pee touched the morning floor, it started to evaporate the wetness and u could well see it clearly. Well this situation continued for around 50 more kilometers. As usual nature played with us. And as abruptly as we had started the rain came to a full stop at this place called Sultan Bathery. There we got into the Indian coffee house and had dosa, vada, puri and coffee. Then at around 110 kilometers, we crossed the Karnataka- Kerala border and then I took over the reins of the bike. Well it was quite a sight. We were very slightly stopped in the tracks due to a rogue elephant that attacked only small vehicles. But we took up the courage and went speeding past the raging elephant. Phew! That was a close one. And then it was quite a sight, through Gundalpett. Watch out Kerala, all the flowers for onam are close being realized right here in Gundalpett. We stopped to take some snaps. We even posed along with a local. It was nice, just for the stupid moment where vkh lost out on the camera ka pouch. Stupid idiot. Totally I was devastated, coz if I had borrowed something, I had always seen to it that I give it back to them as they had given it to me, or in a better condition still. No problemo amigo. Got to get him the pouch back.


Anywho, I drove for the next 120 kilometers or something, until we reached Mysore or something I guess. Anywho we reached Mysore without much to talk about or do anything at all. Let me tell u about Mysore. A really nice place if u ask me. They’ve got the greenery for greenery, the palaces for palaces and so on and so forth. The palaces are quite a sight. Takes you to some place else for sure. Anywho we stressed on. We had to take the now famous Bangalore-Mysore state highway. It was one of the most exhilarating rides of my entire life. And the bloody bike was with vkh, half the 140 kilometers stretch of road. We reached speeds of up to around 119 km/hr. I had to stop him otherwise I don't know what he would have done or up to which speed he would have gone! Anywho we stopped in the middle somewhere and got into cafe coffee day and I had a latte and black Forrest cake. Lip smackingly delicious. And then I took up the reins of the bike yet again. And just five kilometers before reaching the city of Bangalore, I gave it over to vkh. We were greeted at first by picturesque lakes and greenery and then moving a little ahead we were greeted by garbage here and there, polluted water and the usual. As I told u, this city is somewhat a kind of a deprived city of the U.A.E or something. It’s quite the city of contrasts. As Shivaji would put it - the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. We are really thankful to vkh's uncle Vijay who was kind enough to allow us accommodation at his place. And u should see this place where they live. it really reminded of my stay with my mom's bro's back there in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. The streets are so narrow and the place so crowded that I really wonder why this place is called as the garden city and also as the IT hub of the country!! What use if the people remain so. And then vkh took me around the city and we had to show the bike at some bajaj showroom or something. And guess what we were confronted by??? Bumper to bumper traffic, and bloody so much pollution that it's quite difficult to go through those places without some kinda of protective eyewear and a filter. The same thing again - As in Dubai. And I called up some of my friends in Bangalore. And u should have seen the way they behaved. What I understood from the attitude of the people around here is that most of them think for themselves only and will not even have time for one of their closest of closest friends. And finally they put the blame on you that we did not go and meet them.

The only exception I got was when vkh and myself went to meet one of our married classmate, Nunna who had just gave birth to her second child. They stayed at a place called Mahadevpura at white field road. They had a very good place. The ground and first floor were used as the factory where her husband had a business of motor making.(They sell around 3000 motors a month) and on the top floor, they have their residence. It’s one of the most fantastic places I’ve ever seen in Bangalore. It resembles the kind of houses that u see in Hindi and English movies. With the extended front courtyard and excellent interiors (just the fact that it was still under works when we came there). Anyways the feeling of homeliness was surely there. And they had wonderful two children. The elder one suffered brain hemorrhage, and is still under treatment. Well after having the heaviest lunch I had after coming to Bangalore (and the only one), we left the place and went in search of the stupid pg or house for them. Actually I got a person from the factory itself to show us some place. And we saw the house. And u should see the house. I’ll tell u the size of the house – take your normal a.t.m cubicle, give it some more space and then add a bedroom, a kitchen, a living room and even a bathroom. How nice rt.? And the rent? 2500 bucks with around 25000 rupees in advance. Shit this place yaar. I am really in awe of the way people live around here. And no one is there to complain if u ask me. Well that’s all we did for that day.

The next day we again went to this bloody fellow’s job of doing some thing for his bike!! And then we again went to this bloody mall called Garuda or something. And then we waited there around an hour or a half. And that too just for that bloody vkh’s clothes and laptop to be bought by Shad. Anywho I never complained. And let me tell you this – Every time we got into some bloody mall, which actually I don’t like that much, I had to fish out 10 rupees. Every bloody single time. And if I were to go in some mall, I would go into it only once. And we went to these malls around 7 to 10 times. And this bloody fellow gave me the explanation that we were going to the mall just because I wanted to see around Bangalore. Shit this is Bangalore, I thought. This bloody place sucks big time. And then we did some shopping that day and that’s all we did. We visited another mall – Gopalan mall and also The Forum. This is what happens when people who haven’t seen anything other than Bangalore and some places in Kerala and other places take u around such places like Bangalore. I was glad that I hadn’t come a day earlier and that I was not leaving a day later. My bus was for around 9.45 in the night. It came as promised. And then 10 of us got into the bus and we had a very nice trip back to Calicut. I got a very spacious seat – 2 of them, and that too semi sleeper. I was so glad that I was listening to all the happy songs that I had in my Yepp player. Until we reached the outskirts of the city. It was one hell of a trip! And yeah it sucked big time. This would rate as one of the worst trips that I ever had in ma entire life. And people of Bangalore – I give it out to you, for the kind of life you live out there. You rock people! Really! That’s all and that’s the trip I had! Hope you enjoyed the ride!

Away

Keeping aside,
Keeping alight
Running away
I lived alone

Away and around
Again and again
Life seemed bland
I stayed awake

Bright and light
My soul felt right
A plea a day
I kept quiet

Assumed and presumed
Absconded was I
Alive not I
Glad I was

I love you but i can't...

(sometimes the worst things in life can come at the least expected times... even death is not but a solace) Tess:

i kno wur ignorin me

u dont like me anymore

Tess:

u've got a new girl na?

Nishath:

who said that?

Tess:

i kno i know iknow

Nishath:

who said that i got a new gal?

Tess:

i know!!!!!!!!!

Nishath:

c'mon how can i even do that such a sweetheart?

Tess:

i know

coz im not good enuf...

Nishath:

are u trying to put baselses allegations upon me

Tess:

ur looin for other grls

Nishath:

where am i looing for other gals in?

c'mon now dont do this to me

after all these years

u want to end our relationship on a baseless piece of allegation?

i can't believe it tess

for all the trouble i am taking to come and meet u in mumbai

this is what i get

Tess:

u dont how bad those lonely yrs nishath

u were after money,,....n other grls...u forgot all the promises u made before mariiage

Nishath:

i was just trying to support you and your children

thats why i made money

and the girl part

Tess:

my chilsdren?

Nishath:

those were just rumours...

Tess:

now they r my children?

Nishath:

started off to make a rift between us

our children darling

our chidren...

Tess:

u were mad abt money u wanted only money n nothin else

Nishath:

more than anything i wanted u

and that is why i married u in the first place

i am planning to let go off everything just to be with u

Tess:

u completely ignored me wen u got the whiff of easy money

Nishath:

anything and everything

Tess:

ur lyin

Nishath:

tess let me tell u

Tess:

in know u are

Nishath:

money goes

money comes

right now i am so bankrupt

Tess:

glad u realized tgat

Nishath:

that it is ma friends who are helping me

they just want me to get out of here and come to u somehow

they know i love u that much

and u do the same back

Tess:

bankrupt? is tat y u bought that solitaire for suzie?

Nishath:

and that should suffice us for all these hardships

suzie's solitaire was just purchased by me

it was a gift from her husband

Tess:

who paid for it?

y did u purchase it>?

Nishath:

he just took me along to choose it

Tess:

the whole town is talkin abt u n her

Nishath:

he was bad at selection

i just help people

Tess:

n u never bothered to buy somethn for me

Nishath:

it is not my fault that ppl talk shit abt me behind ma back

i told u darling

i am leaving everything and coming back to u

Tess:

never came n sat wid me wen i really needed u

Nishath:

i will surely get u something

i am here for u whenever u want me

i am all yours

the only need for u is to utter a single word...

and i am there

Tess:

i dont want anythn

neither ur money or whtevr

its too late nishath

Nishath:

so u r seeing someone else huh?

i knew it

the moment u started the fight i knew it

i knew u wanted the divorce to happen

Tess:

no im not....do not even for a sec think im like u

Nishath:

all this drama just to get ma wealth

and u to run away with ur secret lover

i know u evil woman

Tess:

i cud have walked out any minut i wanted...but stayed coz i loved u.....

and hoped u'd come back

Nishath:

if u had loved me

u would be here with me

in my time of trouble

Tess:

i was thr....

Nishath:

but all u did was to allege me in having extra marital affairs

and all the bull

Tess:

ur accident...who took care of u?.......

Nishath:

why tess

why are u doing this to me

Tess:

u think i'll ever be able to love someone else?

Nishath:

dont u know how much i love u?

sorry tess

Tess:

u never showed it

Nishath:

i think it is time for me to leave

i think god is asking me to be with him

Tess:

sorry wont get a dead cat back to life

ur answerable to everythn i missed out on life

Nishath:

i think it's time i left the face of this world

no more shall i be a loser

Tess:

wat????

dont....

i love u nishath...

Nishath:

no more need i be of trouble to anyone

Tess:

cant live without u....

plz dont do somethn stupid

Nishath:

anything and everything that is mine is written on ur name

Tess:

i live for u

Nishath:

and the children

take care of them

Tess:

i dont want anythn...I WANT YOU

Nishath:

adieu my love...

adieu

Why?

(Maybe she's gone through the same shit. A possible pardoxical expression of life for putting up with so much. My friend Mukz, at her best again...)

Why is it all about mistakes?
Will there ever be a world beyond?
Where love prevails and evil fails
Will there ever be a heaven on earth?

Will there be a man acknowledged
for being rich at heart and pure in soul?
With cures for heal and pity to feel
Will there ever be a heaven on earth?

Will there be a bird that flies
far in to the skies, far away from cries?
Without its wings folded, or clipped away
Will there ever be a heaven on earth?

by - Mukta Jayanth

When?

It’s been long since I have written anything here. Maybe its high time I came back to being my old self. Well 2008 has been a mixed year for me all this while. Beginning October last year I though that I was having a dream run. The thing about dreams is, they don’t last long. In the same manner it did not last long enough for me. At the start of October, I had a job, had a gal who loved me to the deepest, ma dad was back home, happy family, everything seemed too perfect. Too perfect, like as if it was the calm before the storm. And just as it was predicted the storm arrived, in the process of me doing stupid things. Things have not been good ever since. And so, the run to 2008 has bought along everything and anything that can be classified as nothing less than failure. The will that stood by me when everything else seemed to be lost was also given up. There has not been a day that has seen me wake up to being a happy self.
My room’s in a mess. The fan needs cleaning. My tables messed up. If I am doing something, then it is on the computer, either browsing the net, chatting with my friends, listening to music, watching some sitcom, watching some movie or some other thing that is not gonna help me in the future in no matter what way possible. My food intake has also been messed up. Even though I tried to head to the gym, after ma mom head off to spend the holidays with ma dad, that has also taken a backstage. I don’t know where ma old self is. Like it’s said, lost in the annals of history somewhere, somehow. But there is also the option of going back someday. But the question still remains – when?

Food, Just Food...

I come from a small town down south, in God’s Own Country, by the name of Calicut (also known as Kozhikode). This place may be known to the country as the place where Vasco De Gama landed or as of recently, one of the few places that has an IIM. To talk of, this place boasts of some of the best cuisines in the entire state. This place is known for its biriyani, banana chips, halwa and so many more. Each dish that is prepared around here has a story behind it, and to tell so, there are loads. And if you have not had enough, then I think you should head down more north of Kerala, to the French part and beyond – Mahe, Thalassery and Kannur.

But you can do that only after visiting this beautiful city of Calicut. And as you people are kinda the dhaba people, I have to suggest you this awesome place right next to where I live – Eranhipalam. I must have been to a lot of places in and around the southern states of India, but I can bet you that you will never have such food as you have from the dhabha opposite the Eranhipalam mosque. It doesn’t even have a name. But once it’s evening, then you can see loads of people around it. Maybe just to at least have a snack or tea. Their specialty lays in the dosas and the piece masalas (green pea’s sautéed with duck or chicken egg). But they also have other specialties like the chicken bondas (boiled potato stuffing), chicken pakodas and many more snacks here and there. Well that is one of the few places you can visit. Well I forgot to tell you, all these are on the highway as well.

Anywho, as I was saying, there is also the iconic Bombay restaurant, where even superstars of the Malayalam film industry go to eat. It is next to the beach and provides you with wide varieties of biriyanis – chicken, fish, beef and many more local delicacies. Then there is the Rahmath hotel, which has by far the best beef biriyani in town. And then I can cite as many places for you people to go to have different types of biriyanis. If you want to try out the seafood platter, I would like to mention to you people the Sea Queen restaurant as well as the Paragon restaurant. Also if you want to check out all the various Muslim Ramadan time delicacies, then I would ask you to please visit the Zain restaurant, which can also be found close to the beach. All these places are quite affordable, and within the common man’s budget. Did you know that the recipe behind the biriyani was got from the Arabs who used to come here to trade during olden times? If you are available, then you can see fresh fish being bought in from the sea, if you are early risers. There’s no stopping me if I continue. So I hope you people will be interested in this little town of ours. And you can still fill your stomach on the way, when you go more north, towards the Kasargod side or down south, towards the capital of Kerala. But if its food you are looking for, then I think I would ask you people to head north after Calicut.

The Date: 26th December 2004

Little Raju was asleep in his little cot in the sleepy little town of Velankanni in Tamil Nadu. The time: 5.30am. Mother Thresia was up and awake to go for the morning prayers. She slept beside the 30-40 other children in the orphanage of mother Velankanni. She loved all of God's children. But she likes Raju the best. It was not because he was the most innocent of them all; it was only because he was the youngest of them all. He was 7 years old. And he had been living in this orphanage for the past 7 years. This meant that he was left to his own; from the time he arrived on mother earth.

The town was coming to life. It was the day after Christmas, and there was no lack of bustle. The fishermen were gathering their nets and getting ready to leave their loved ones behind and go and live with their second mother at sea. The time: 6.30am. Raju had risen, brushed his teeth, combed his hair and even finished prayers with his other friends at the orphanage. Little Raju liked living in the orphanage. He never felt isolated. He had all the love he ever needed. He also liked Mother Thresia very much. Raju decided to go and play. Since there was no one as young as him in the orphanage, he went all alone to the beach and started playing with the sand.

The time: 7.29am. Mother was calling from the distance asking Raju to come and have his breakfast. Raju never disobeys. So he listens to mother Thresia's orders and goes as fast as possible and has his breakfast. It was the meager one, but it was all they could have. Raju never complained about the food or about the amount of anything he received. He received very little, since the orphanage could offer only little. After the breakfast, Raju runs back to his favorite spot on the beach- A secluded area covered with shells. So again Raju begins to play Alone.

The time 8.23. Raju feels bored. He has had enough of playing with the shells, sand and water. That was when raju noticed something strange with the beach. All the fishermen had left for the sea. This was a usual site. But there was something that caught Raju's eyes. He looked around. There were seagulls and other sea birds, of which he didn’t even know the name coming away from the sea, calling each other in their own specific reverberation. This was strange and it had not occurred ever before in his short time of two years he had spent in the beach playing. Also he noticed that the crabs were hurrying away from their homes beneath the sand and were heading inland. A small crab even scurried over his legs. But Raju did not budge. He decided to go back to the orphanage. He was getting scared. He wanted to see mother. He wanted to be in her hands and may be even go to sleep in her lap.

The time: 9.00am. Raju cannot find mother. He goes on roaming all around the orphanage. That was when sister Daisy told him that mother Thresia had gone along with father Marcos to see an ailing patient. Raju was frightened but he did not want to show it out to anyone else other than mother Thresia. Gathering up all the courage that was left in him, he decides to head back to the beach. Little Raju reaches his secluded little place and decides to build something with the sand. But then his eyes wander of to the distance of the sea. Something was eating up the sea. All the waves were disappearing. The bed of sea was coming into site. Raju moved a step or back. He looked at the astonishing site and spoke out none. He wanted to know who had eaten up the sea. So he stepped forward and brought out his hand and held it above the eye, so that he could see as far as possible. He moved forward slowly. That was when he saw something huge making its way back on to the beach at very high speed: A WAVE. A wave so tall that he had never seen anything like it ever before. He decides to run and hide in the church, for mother had always told him that, if you are ever in doubt or if ever you are in need in help, ask to the Lord and he shall provide. But the tiny feet took its last few steps, and then…………………………..

The time: 10.00am. The town that was, didn’t seem to exist. The water had swept away all and spared none. Lord had helped none and punished all. The beach was gone, its people ruined. And as for little raju, the lord had him in his hands.

The Phoenix

More than a heart's despair,
More than a lover's misfortune,
This mortal has indulged,
In what immortals even dare not.

Treading paths of love and hate,
At the doors, the mere human met
To meet
But nothingness

He cant remember,
Oblivion shrouded for now
The less he strived,
The more he pained

Receding,
Day by day,
Bit by bit,
Soul by soul

I wish he burn,
Rather suffer
And rise the phoenix
That he is.

Mischief Helps

This took place during our final term of our eleventh standard in India. The year would be around March 2005. The final exams were just around the corner and all were quite engrossed in books and stuff. But not us three – Fathima, Anis and myself. We were the three inseparable stooges of our class. No, not just the class, but the school.

Anis and myself wanted to go to Fathima’s home since long. She had a lunch to give us, which was long overdue. And Fathima being a good friend of ours decided to invite us to her house (after waiting for almost half the year). Her mom is preacher and takes classes frequently outside her home. And then the expected day arrived
We had our final exams going on at the time of this unforgettable experience. And the next day the exam was chemistry. Oh what with all the organic chemistry to learn who would go into learning chemistry. Fath’s mom left for her classes in the afternoon to some distant place. Fath seizing the opportunity invited us over to her home. She lived with just her mom and her maid. The rest of her family was in Saudi Arabia. She was the only one studying in India. At first she struck a deal with her maid Zeenath as to allowing us to get into the house with her mom knowing nothing about it. Fath had to allow Zeenath to watch T.V., that’s all. And so the deal was finalized. Zeenath even prepare fried rice for us.

Us, anis and myself were scared to our very inner beings at the prospect of going to a girl’s home without either of her parents knowing. But we accepted the challenge and left for Fath’s home by1 in the afternoon. Anis came to pick me up on his Honda bike and we bought some refreshments and headed unto Fath’s home.

Fath quickly ushered us in as Zeenath hurried to take in our shoes (no clues should be left behind). So we entered Fath’s home at last. We had lunch (mmmm…the fried rice did taste real good), played monopoly, watched movies and had a lot of fun. We didn’t know how the time went by us. Suddenly the time was 4. it had been three hours since we had arrived here. The topic of our talk shifted from fun to our chemistry exam. As soon as I heard chemistry, I immediately went to Fath’s room and took her chemistry text and started reading from it. The other two did not join in. They started discussing about as to how they could bunk the exam next day. They kept giving suggestions, like Fath went – ‘ How about putting your head in the water and then standing under the fan?’, I told them the fact about cold and that one can’t catch a cold like that. Then Anis said that it was enough that one sprained their arm to keep them stay back at home for at least a day. I was still looking into the chemistry book while these two plotted their own disappearance tomorrow. Fath decided to sprain her arm. But she couldn’t do it on her own. She asked Anis to do it for her. And when he was about to twist her hand, we heard the horn – Fath’s mom! She was back. Aaagghhhh!!! We started to panic. But Zeenath had it all under control. She asked us to move to the backdoor, and wait for her signal. Fathima quickly went and opened the gate for her mother, while we went to the backdoor and hid behind the well. Our shoes were already kept there. As soon as Fath’s mom entered the house Zeenath gave us the signal and we quickly took on to the front of the house while Fath kept her mom busy. After that we left the place and headed back to our respective homes.
After some time all of us were again online on the phone, in conference. Each had their own mobile. Fath and Anis kept talking about how to bunk classes. I just kept giving my comments on each plan. Finally the decision was taken. I was sent to the pharmacy by these two people to enquire as to whether anything would happen if someone takes in a little dose of washing powder. I enquired and they said that it’s quite a trip to the toilet. So Anis and Fath decided to get upset stomachs to bunk the exams the next day. So at 9 that night, we were again on conference. After the plan I had sat down to study, whilst these two were having a ball by just thinking about the plan. We spoke to each other as the two dank two tablespoons of washing powder with water. Fath vomited the first time, but then she took courage and drank again. That was the night. We had to wait until the next morning to see if something would go wrong with each others stomachs.

You must be thinking that they must be going to the bathroom now and then. That was not the case. Nothing happened to both of them. They had no sorts of effects with the intake of washing powder. I was getting tensed out here about what I had learned and not, while they were now acting sick with their parents, telling them all sorts of ‘I-just made-that-up’ type of pains. As has to be with concerned parents, they were asked not to go to the school in that condition. I was the only one among us three who went to write the exam. But to my relief the headmistress called the two at their respective homes and said that they have to write the exams and go. So Anis came 2 hours later, wrote 1 or 2 questions out of 15 and left. Fath came an hour later and wrote anything she knew (which was limited).

So the exams were all over. Anis and Fath’s ‘bunk-the-exam’ plan had failed. I wrote the exams as much as they wrote, but didn’t try to act my way out of the exams. But the irony of it all comes out in the end – d-day – the results. When the results came out, guess who had to take a retest in that subject? Me! While the other two – Anis and Fath passed out without any trouble. Looks like mischief making can get you somewhere. Unfortunately I decided against it that day. And they enjoyed their holidays while I had to learn for my retest in chemistry. Oh, the irony!

Alone/ alone and all all alone

(This poem was written by a close friend of mine)

And once I knew a certain someone
Who stood alone/ alone and all alone
And though he had many a friends
It always looked like he was making amends

And once I knew a certain someone
Who stood by corners all day long
And when the night would stir along
He would sing his woe-filled song

And once I knew a certain someone
Who saw right through a persons lie
But what the others didn’t know
Was that his was lie that would never show

And once I knew a certain someone
Who conquered all that he came across
But little did he know just then
Someone was coming to conquer his den

And do once I knew a certain someone
Who believed in all but him
But when she came passing by
He was elated but didn’t know why

Once I knew a certain someone
Who smiled at every word I said
But possession took the better of him
And guilt but filled him to the brim

And once I knew a certain someone
Who took his last breath and cried to me
‘I loved to the I could
And gave you the best of what I am’

And now I know certain someone
Who stood alone/ alone and all all alone
Thinking many may come and many may go
But this dream will live on forever

And so now I know a certain me
Who’s under a mask that no one can see
But little as they know I’m alone as can be
Alone, alone all all alone and the world to see
Now I know a certain me
Whose just as alone as me

- By Mukta Jayanth Kumar

Revert

My armour
Has lost its shine
Gone are the days
Of glory untold

There used to be times
When one was missed
But now it changed
When you ain’t even known

The charismatic figure
Has sunken itself
To become no less
But a Charlie in himself

They came
Time and again
For a glimpse
And away they went

But those were the days
When they could not
And to come none at all
Was indeed rare

So here I am
My chaplet dethroned
None are gone
Yet I stand alone

For my armour
Has lost its shine
And gone are the days
Of glory untold

Beginning the new year with a BANG

Well, each of you must have had a rather fun filled arrival into the new year. Me too had something similar, just underlining the fact that the bang was with a pedestrian who did not know how to cross the street. I picked up my friend from her place just a few moments back. And then we were on our way to do some birthday shopping. On the way in a complete 90 degree turn, i went and crashed into a guy. And then his hand was run over by a car tyre. They pulled the car back. And i was in my full fury. The guy was shouting at me, as if he did not know to cross at such interjunctions and that too when cars were moving from three different directions. But being as i am, i took him immediately to the hospital, dressed his wounds, gave him injection and even took him out for a drink. And also took him back to his place. the guy was not able to argue with me after this. I think he understood his mistake, and said, "Thank you", while i dropped him at his place. Sometimes i think this world is not completely lost of humanity. But there were his friends waiting for him at his place. I told them that everything was solved between us, and the guy himself restrained them from coming towards me. And then i sped of, knowing of one fact - i was actually hurt, and if i did not lie with my head tilted upwards, my nose would surely start bleeding. And here i am at my office, sitting before writing this live news staring up at the ceiling for almost an hour. So, folks, crackers did not do it for me, a broken nose, a show of respect and some birthday shopping still pending creates my new year start.